He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
