How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
not ubering you a puppy
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize