I smell stomach acid.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
