I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
