Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
