I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize