I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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