also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize