I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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