So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
