his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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