I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
