i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
