You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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