I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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