Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
