My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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