how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
