i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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