Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
