We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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