I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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