Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
