you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
