Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
