i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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