We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
