i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
