Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize