dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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