You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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