May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
