i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize