She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
