Already got asked if we're dating
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
