is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
