So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
