he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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