How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
