dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
