Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry MelKayJay hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(305): View more from Florida

false alarm. still invincible.

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(703): View more from Virginia

You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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(813): View more from Florida

Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.

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(813): View more from Florida

EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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(941): View more from Florida

The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo

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(209): View more from California

I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

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(212): View more from New York

Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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(419): View more from Ohio

Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..

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