my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
