we're blogging at a bar
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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