Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
