Soap is not a condiment
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
