And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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