sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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