Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
