I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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