I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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