Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
