Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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