I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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