I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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