awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
