We named our party play list daddy issues
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
