What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
