Define "chronic" masturbator.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize